The ligth in my way
by alana21gr
Summary: Alternative Universe where Liz doesn´t get shoot because she didn´t let in Roswell.Folliw the show S1 and S2,what happend when she get there?


Chapter 1

_I don't want someone, and you don't need anyone. So don't let this start today._

"In the calm of the night I can see your eyes. They keep changing and I can discern your feelings. Someone said long ago that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. If that's true, I surrender to you, because for the first time in my life I feel like I understand something I'm seeing. If I have to break a thousand times to see you smile, I won't scream because I know the that with the pain, comes love."

The light of the cigar that she was smoking flickered on her face for one moment, and in that brief moment Max could see her eyes. Her big brown eyes shown with serenity, an emotion and idea that he couldn't have comprehended before now.

He had always lived his life for people he didn't really care about, and had built it on lies he had never truly believed. He'd bet his life and lost, and in his fall he'd learned how to be himself. However, he'd also learned how to block himself off from other people. Why let them get close if everyone he loved always left?

The cynical smile that touched his lips at her words did well to hide any emotion he was feeling. He would make her move on, just like all the others. He would never get attached.

"Babe, I know I'm good, but don't you think you're getting in a little too deep? I'm a guy that likes to have his fun, so there's no need to get sentimental. Tomorrow I won't even remember your face, let alone your name."

With that said, Max turn around and proceeded to dress with the clothes that had been thrown off carelessly in their previous passion.

Closure. It was the idea he was trying to project, the feeling he was trying to provoke in her. It was the same one that he had been making people feel all his life. He wanted everyone to feel unattached when it came to him, since he himself did his best to stay that way. A few times someone had passed through the walls he'd built up, but it was only for a moment until he'd managed to block the feeling out. But she would never get passed his walls, not even for a second. He wouldn't allow it.

"I don't have expectations of you, since I know you'd never be able to meet them. You and I both know that this isn't real." Her sweet voice rebounded throughout the room, making cracks in the very walls he had been trying to reinforce. He turned away from her and continued to dress, not knowing how to answer.

Max didn't feel her until it was too late, didn't realize she was there until he felt her plaster her body to his back. He wanted to push her away, to deny what she was obviously so willing to give, but his eyes closed anyway.

Is isn't resignation, he thought fiercely, I'm not agreeing to give her anything of myself but my body. It's the pleasure she could give that I long for. The same pleasure that caused me to leave the bar with her last night.

He turned around and whispered in her ear, "I'm not agreeing to anything, accept another very enjoyable round with you."

But despite his words, he knew the truth. He realized that he didn't even know what he wanted. He didn't know what he had been searching for when he had agreed to take her home. All he knew was that there was something about her that he longed for. He explored her mouth and body with frightening intensity, trying to prove to himself that this was all he needed from her.

The next morning, he awoke to the sound of a door being closed. He sat straight up in bed, his eyes darting around the room and trying to find any sign of her, but everything was silent. He laid back down slowly, wondering why he felt as if a cold hand was clenching his stomach. It couldn't be that he cared she was gone. After all, he'd spent his entire life being alone.

So why did today feel so much colder, if he was so used to the silence?

_You can't win if you have nothing to lose. _

Two faces on the same coin are alike in only one way: their ignorance of the other side.

People talk a lot. Some talk with arrogance and bitterness, others with amiability and peace. However, when all people talk, the style in which they speak does not change the fact that they always assume they have a right to say whatever it is they say. But in reality, like the face of the coin, people usually have no idea as to what the other side of the story is. They see only their viewpoint, and they act on it.

So, why talk at all, when talking never helps you understand that viewpoint, that other side of the coin?

Liz never had a problem answering that question, since years ago she'd proven this theory through practice and experimentation. So, because she didn't know what was going on in Max's mind, because she didn't know his side of the coin, she couldn't believe anything that he said. And she wouldn't give up on him.


End file.
